Eleven.

There are so many people I could address this to - Auntie Janice, Grandma Watson, Grandad Hillier - I want you to know that you will always have a place in my heart <3.

However, I'm going to address this to grandad Watson.

Dear grandad Watson,

I remember when I found out you weren't related to me. I was at my mums freinds house when she asked my mum how her step father was. I sat on the staircase with my head in my hands. But I wasn't crying. After the initial shock, it didn't matter. You were my grandad. You would always be my grandad. Being a grandad to someone is more than just being blood related. It's being there for your grandchildren. Supporting them as they grow up.

I'm focusing particularly on you at the moment because of the fact that it was Fathers Day about a week ago. I saw cards with 'best grandad on the front'. For one wild second I was going to choose one and buy it. Then I remembered that I didn't have a grandad anymore. I almost had to walk out of the shop straight away. And the main reason why I am addressing this letter to you and not to grandad Hillier is because he died when I was seven. I didn't see him through the same, more mature, eyes as I saw you. And I only have one tiny memory of him. You were much more real to me - not because I was closer to you, but because I remember you more vividly as I grew older.

The last time I saw you, you were asleep in your bed at the hospice. I neevr got a chance to talk to you for that reason. But when we left the hospice I remember whispering 'goodbye, I love you' to myself. I knew what was coming and I dreaded it. The next day we got a phone call to say you had passed away. I wish I could have said goodbye properly.

Rest in Peace, Grandad Watson.
I still love you,
Lizzy xx